Sequential Subsequence of Consequences

SAN JOSE, Calif., Jul. 30, 2008

(AP) Maybe he thought it would make his car fly. A 20-year-old man is accused of breaking into a small airport and trying to fill up his car's gas tank with jet fuel.

"We've had people try and steal gas here in the past," said Jim Meide, who works in operations at Reid-Hillview Airport. "It's really stupid."

The suspect was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and attempted theft. But he probably wasn't trying to save money.

The aviation fuel in the pumps used for aircraft and race cars was going for $5.97 a gallon, accessed by a credit card, authorities said.

"Sometimes," Meide said, "these people have the notion that since it's racing fuel it'll make their car go faster."

Airport officials are investigating the security breach.

"This is an authorized area and he was driving around on the field where any airplane has the right of way," Meide said. "It could have been very dangerous if he had pulled in front of a taxiing plane."

1 - 50% of female polar bears also have a penis.
2 - American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads.
3 - Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
4 - An adult giraffe’s kick is so powerful that it can decapitate a lion.
5 - The longest word in the English language, with all of the letters in alphabetical order is “Almost”.
6 - In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.
7 - The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
8 - 75% of people will believe any made up statistic.
9 - The brain continues sending electrical wave signals for 37 hours after death
10 - Every year approximately 2,500 left-handed people are killed by using object or machinery designed for right-handed people.
11 - Between 1902 and 1907, the same tiger killed 434 people in India.
12 - Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
13 - During their periods womens middle fingers shrink. No one knows why.
14 - A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
15 - In “Silence of the Lambs”, Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.

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A man has spent 6 months completing the world's biggest piece jigsaw. The jigsaw consisted of 4 puzzles each containing 6,000 pieces which when put together create one giant 24,000 piece puzzle. You can view images of the puzzle here.

Arsene Wenger has revealed that teenage playmaker Jack Wilshere could make his senior breakthrough this season...

Wilshere burst onto the scene last season with his magnificent debut for the reserve team, during which he created one goal and scored another with a brilliant drive from distance.

The 16-year-old has since been hailed as England's answer to Cesc Fabregas, and is set to pen a long-term deal with the Gunners when he turns 17 in January.

Wenger has already stated that Wilshere is likely to feature regularly in the domestic cup competitions, but the Frenchman would not rule out the possibility that the young Londoner could make even bigger strides throughout the term.

"You wouldn't want to put any limitations on his participation in the season because he is only 16," the Arsenal manager told the club's official website.

"At that age you can improve. He looked strong enough and not phased by the big games. The quality is there.

"I don't look too much at his age, more at what he is doing on the pitch, and right now what he is doing is good."

Mike Maguire (via Goal.com)

From equipment installed backwards to problems with the metric system, NASA's failures can be as fascinating as its successes. Wired discusses some of the more embarrasing mistakes.

Source: A Welsh View

Inter coach, Jose Mourinho, has responded to Claudio Ranieri’s rant by blasting the former Chelsea Tinkerman with a number of insults.

Ranieri had mentioned Mourinho during his sour grapes press conference after Juventus lost 3-0 to Hamburg.

“I am not like Mourinho, I don’t have to win things to be sure of myself,” moaned Ranieri.

This has prompted a reaction from the ‘Special One’ who just couldn’t help himself from taking aim, and gunning the Old Lady coach down with some heavy words.

“I am in Italy to work hard rather than take part in a war of words,” Mourinho told Inter Channel.

“I want to do well with Inter and do the best possible for us and to forget about the work of others.

“Ranieri? I guess he’s right with what he said I am very demanding of myself and I have to win to be sure of things.

“This is why I have won so many trophies in my career. Ranieri on the other hand has the mentality of someone who doesn’t need to win. He is almost 70 years old.

“He has won a Supercup and another small trophy and he is too old to change his mentality.

“He’s old and he hasn’t won anything.”

The coach also spoke about Zlatan Ibrahimovic and he believes the Sweden star is better than Kaka and Lionel Messi.

“Seeing Ibrahimovic in training makes me understand how Special he is,” said the coach.

“Messi? Kaka? Ronaldinho? Ibrahimovic is the special one.”

Mourinho’s words are likely to cause some controversy.

The coach claimed he was not prepared to have a verbal fight with the rest only to eat his words and add petrol to the fire.

Salvatore Landolina (via Goal.com)

By IZATUN SHARI

KUALA LUMPUR (The Star): Tan Sri Rafidah Aziz announced that she would relinquish her post as Wanita chief and hand it over to Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil by mid-2009.

She proposed the transition plan formula, which would not see contests for the top two posts in the movement.

"I will give up my post as Wanita chief latest by mid-2009 and hand it over to my deputy," she said Monday at the opening of the Wanita Umno meeting with the top leaders at PWTC here.

"Wanita Umno members must give their undivided support to the chief and the deputy chief. Maybe some people may question why I'm not following the transition power plan between the party president and his deputy in 2010. That is the transition plan involving the Prime Minister.

"I am just handing over the post of Wanita chief. I have no power. I have no post in Cabinet. I would like to appeal to Wanita Umno at the division level to accept this proposal."

She said the proposal needed the consensus of Wanita Umno divisions to be successful.

"This is to avoid a split, ensure a smooth change of leadership and so that the movement will not be caught up with the issue of nominations for the top two posts."

Later, Rafidah elaborated further saying that: "What I'm proposing is a formula whereby Shahrizat and I will win uncontested during the party polls this December. Then, latest by June, Shahrizat will take over my post. And when she takes over Wanita will be united.

"When I took over previously, I was faced with a divided Wanita. It took years to build ranks. Shahrizat will receive a Wanita which is unified."

She said she made the decision two weeks ago when she was recuperating from her knee surgery.

Asked whether there was a need for the Wanita leadership to discuss the proposal, she replied: "No need. No need. That's enough. That is my decision."

She said she raised the matter during the Wanita exco meeting and there was good support.

Rafidah said in the event of challenges from a third party, she said: "I'm not going to contest-lah. In the event of challenges, no contest, but we are saying no contest for chief and deputy chief posts. This is my formula. As agreed by Jat (Sharizat). And she'll take over a solid body which understands unity and helps our leaders get through December."

Shahrizat thanked Rafidah on her announcement and the trust given to her to take over the post.

"The president has advised me that it's best that I accept the offer for the sake of the unity and continuity of the movement. As a member who abides by the party's tradition, I listen to my chief and I believe that the grassroots will also listen to the party president's advice."

She said she hoped that Wanita exco and grassroots members would accept the president's advice.

"I will not go against the party president's advice. We are confident that Wanita will also heed his advice. We hope Wanita realise that we should agree that there is no need to nominate a third party.

Party president Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said Wanita Umno should consider the best option and it was important that the movement was united in the matter.

"This is important to ensure that the movement remains strong and can carry out its duties and responsibilities in facing challenges."

He said he was surprised when Rafidah made the announcement but he was relieved that Shahrizat accepted the proposal.

Real Madrid have officially announced that they have reached an agreement with Hamburger SV for Dutch midfielder Rafael van der Vaart. Tomorrow the former Ajax man will pen a five-year contract at the Bernabéu...

The blancos revealed on their official website that the 25-year-old is set to seal his deal in person tomorrow. No fee has been mentioned but it is thought to be a €9m deal.

A statement from the club ran: "Real Madrid C.F. and Hamburg SV have reached an agreement for the 5-season transfer of Dutch player Rafael Ferdinand van der Vaart to the former club. The agreement is subject to the player's medical examination and his signing of a federation contract.

Van der Vaart will be officially presented on Tuesday 5 August at 13:00 CET in the Presidential Balcony of the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium."

The Netherlands international had earlier told the official HSV website that he was set to move on after an accord between the two clubs was met on Sunday night.

Ready To Move

Anticipating his switch to Spain, he said, "Very late [Sunday] night it was agreed. It took a long time and for a long while it was uncertain, but now everything is clear.

"I'm glad, but also a little sad. I had a good time here... I'm also hurt to leave. People here always supported me, even in difficult times, such as during the Valencia incident (a failed transfer).

"I had goosebumps every time I played in Hamburg. It's clichéd to say that HSV will always remain in my heart, but this really is the case and it should remain so."

Rich Pedigree

Rafael brings with him to Madrid a considerable goalscoring record for a midfielder, having netted 29 Bundesliga goals in 74 appearances for the Hanseaten.

With Ajax his finest campaign was perhaps 2002-03, wherein he managed almost a goal a game for the Dutch capital side. However his later days in Amsterdam were to be fraught with controversy as he was stripped of the captaincy and even dropped for a time.

Nonetheless he remained, and remains, a Dutch international of some repute, having taken part in Euro 2008 this summer for his country.

Steve Michaels, Goal.com

- My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you just as soon as we’re finished.

- Hi. This is John.
If you’re the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you’re my parents, please send me money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
If you are a friend, you owe me money.
If you are a female, I have plenty of money.
Leave your message after the beep.

- Hi. I’m not home right now, but my answering machine is. So you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

- This is not an answering machine. It is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and the number where I can reach you. I’ll think about returning your call.

- Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding talking with someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

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Andy Hunter
The Guardian,
Monday August 4 2008

Arsène Wenger wants Xabi Alonso to form a Spanish midfield axis with Cesc Fábregas at Arsenal next season, provided Liverpool dramatically lower their £18m price for the marginalised playmaker.

Arsenal have made an initial approach for the 26-year-old Alonso, who has been told he can leave Anfield for the right price. His first-team prospects are threatened by the imminent arrival of Gareth Barry; Liverpool's manager, Rafael Benítez, hopes finally to complete the saga of Barry's £18m transfer from Aston Villa this week, after Martin O'Neill was forced to make a U-turn over his captain's future, and has insisted on a similar fee for Alonso as he attempts to balance the books.

Benítez's price tag, however, has deterred Arsenal from returning with a firm offer for a player they value at closer to the £10.5m Liverpool paid Real Sociedad for him four years ago. The deal will remain only a remote possibility unless Arsenal revise their stance or, despite Benítez's insistence that Alonso and Barry can operate in his already crowded central midfield, the Liverpool manager's need to raise funds forces a compromise.

"I don't think it will be easy [for him to leave]," admitted Benítez in Glasgow on Saturday. "The value of Alonso in the market will be really high. We are really pleased with him and we don't want him to go unless we get a very good price."

Liverpool had intended to sell Alonso to Juventus to finance Barry's transfer but, despite the collapse of that deal and a lack of suitors apart from Arsenal, Benítez will sign Villa's captain provided Liverpool's co-owners underwrite a loan to conclude the £18m deal. Tom Hicks and George Gillett promised the money before Villa's deadline to complete the transfer last week, only for a revised payment structure to cause Liverpool to miss the cut-off point - whereupon Villa issued a statement insisting, farcically, that the deal was off.

Liverpool's willingness to meet Villa's asking price led Barry and his agent, Alex Black, to insist again on the move on Friday morning. O'Neill and Randy Lerner, Villa's owner, then ended their resistance and put the onus back on Liverpool to come up with the package they had promised last week. "I gave it some thought and realised there is little point in pretending," said the Villa manager. "Gareth would want to join Liverpool and therefore there would be no deadline. I have agreed with Gareth now. That's it, no problem: Liverpool have all the time in the world to do it if they want to raise the money."

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f*cking bitch.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late ..
INSTEAD OF: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f*cking way.

Number 5
TRY SA YING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

Number 6 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f*cking problem.

Number 8 TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
IN STEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F*ck it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

Number 16 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f*cking job sucks.

Number 17 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f*ck died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources

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Chelsea have beaten a weakened AC Milan side 5-0 in a pre-season friendly in Russia, courtesy of four goals from Nicolas Anelka and one from Frank Lampard.

The Blues took the lead in the opening minutes courtesy of a Frank Lampard free kick that was poorly defended by Milan and which somehow found its way into the back of the net.

Chelsea then doubled their lead five minutes later through Anelka who scored with a shot from the edge of the area, for his first goal of the match.

Wright-Phillips then went close for Chelsea as they completely dominated the early exchanges, before Anelka got his second, and Chelsea’s third, after an awful error by goalkeeper Kalac, left the Frenchman with an easy tap in to an empty net.

Milan, missing key players such as Kaka, Pato, Inzaghi and Borriello, had few chances in the first half and went in to the break a rather beleaguered three nil down.

It didn’t get much better for the Rossoneiri in the second half. Scolari freshened up his side at the break swapping Ballack for Deco and the former Barcelona man was involved in his side’s fourth goal. The Portuguese combined well with Malouda whose cross was headed home by Anelka for his hat trick goal.

The Frenchman then wrapped things up just under the hour mark, Malouda again finding his compatriot who converted from close range.

Scolari then took pity on Milan by replacing the four goal Anelka shortly after for Shevchenko who faced his former team but once again, was unable to find the back of the net.

Although Chelsea had further openings with Malouda and Deco both going close, the game ended 5-0 and Chelsea will now return to London ahead of their opening Premier League game against Portsmouth on August 17.

Gill Clark (via Goal.com)

Emmanuel Adebayor went some way to winning back the hearts and minds of all Arsenal fans with the goal which beat Spanish giants Real Madrid in the Emirates Cup on Sunday afternoon.

The Togo striker - who was Arsenal's top scorer with 30 goals last season - had been the subject of fevered transfer speculation during the summer, only to dismiss it all as pure conjecture when announcing he would sign a new contract extension with the Gunners.

On Saturday's opening game against Juventus, some sections of the Emirates Stadium faithful had let their frustrations be known, which manager Arsene Wenger later described as 'disappointed love'.

However, the 6ft 3ins striker was all smiles again as he converted a penalty five minutes into the second half - and kissed the badge in celebration with the fans behind the goal.

In Arsenal's opening game against Juventus on Saturday, which was lost 1-0, Wenger had opted for a youthful starting XI.

However, Sunday's team was much more familiar - led by captain William Gallas, as Robin van Persie and Adebayor also came in, and there was a full home debut for summer signing Samri Nasri on the left of midfield.

Euro 2008 winner Cesc Fabregas was given some more rest, and centre-back Kolo Toure, recovering from a mild bout of malaria, was another first-team absentee.

Before kick-off, injured Arsenal striker Eduardo - who broke his leg at Birmingham in February - was given a rousing reception as he walked onto the pitch unaided to salute the Emirates Stadium crowd, and the Croatian international could be back in contention by October.

Real had the likes of Chelsea target Robinho, Guti, captain Raul, one-time Arsenal forward Julio Baptista, former Manchester United defender Gabriel Heinze and former Liverpool goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek in their team.

Arsenal started brightly with Adebayor and Van Persie working the ball well on the edge of the penalty area before Theo Walcott's low, angled drive was well held by Dudek.

Then, a swift counter-attack set up Denilson 20 yards out, but the young Brazilian's strike was blocked.

Adebayor should have put the home side in front on 32 minutes when Van Persie floated over a cross from the left - only for the Togo frontman to plant his header wide from six yards.

Javier Garcia then came within inches of giving Real the lead when he whipped a 25-yard effort just over Manuel Almunia's crossbar.

Dudek scrambled an angled volley from Denilson behind and then tipped over Adebayor's looping header as Arsenal looked to get themselves ahead before the break.

The Gunners did take the lead four minutes after the restart when referee Mark Clattenburg ruled Michel Salgado had barged over Van Persie in the penalty box and pointed to the spot.

Adebayor made no mistake from 12 yards - and ran straight to the Arsenal fans behind the goal, kissing the club badge on his shirt.

There was an injury worry for Real when, on the hour mark, Holland international Wesley Sneijder had to be carried off on a stretcher after appearing to twist his knee in an awkward fall after a tackle.

Young Mexican Carlos Vela and Emmanuel Eboue were sent on, for Van Persie and Walcott, as Wenger freshened up his frontline.

Adebayor came close to making it 2-0 when he charged through the Real defence and into the box - only to slide the ball wide from six yards.

The Togo striker was, though, now back on side with the home faithful, who were chanting his name once more.

Arsenal's victory saw them finish third in the final Emirates Cup table, with Hamburg - now managed by former Tottenham boss Martin Jol - securing the trophy after they beat Juventus 3-0 in the day's other match.

Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor is determined to win over any remaining doubters in the Emirates crowd after pledging himself to the club.

He insists he is as committed as ever to Arsene Wenger's side but admits that the rumours have not helped his relationship with the fans.

While he has been cheered by the majority of the club's supporters in the ongoing Emirates Cup, there have been some dissenting voices. Now Adebayor intends to win them over.

'I'm very happy. As a footballer a lot of clubs will look for you but this club is one of the biggest in the world, there are lots of young players and I have a big chance to have a good career at this club,' he told Sky Sports.

'When there is a lot of speculation they (the fans) believe what they read in the newspapers. The most important thing is to keep on enjoying your football.

'Some of the fans will love you and some will hate you but I'm in a good position and most fans love me. For me, what happened this summer is over.

'You have to come on the pitch, enjoy your football and show them you have desire to play for their team.

'Today I am where I am because they gave me a lot of chances.'

Another Arsenal forward, Croatian striker Eduardo, earned an unequivocal ovation from the crowd when he was paraded ahead of tonight's glamour tie against Real Madrid.

He has not played since suffering a sickening leg break against Birmingham last season but is already targeting a first-team return before the end of the year.

He said: 'I was in Brazil for my rehabilitation and for four months I have worked hard every day for six or seven hours.

'For me it is hard because I like playing and five, six, seven or eight months without playing is very hard for a player.'

Asked when he would be match-fit, he said: 'I would like to play tomorrow but I don't know. Before Christmas maybe.'

Source: ESPN SoccerNet

By PAUL LOGOTHETIS

BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) — McLaren driver Heikki Kovalainen won his first Formula One race Sunday after an engine problem forced Felipe Massa out of the Hungarian Grand Prix with three laps to go.

Massa overtook Kovalainen and pole sitter Lewis Hamilton at the start and was heading for his fourth win of the season after Hamilton dropped out of contention with a tire puncture. But the Brazilian's Ferrari engine overheated toward the end and Kovalainen took an 11-second victory over Timo Glock of Toyota.

"Of course I feel a little bit sorry for Felipe. I know how he feels with what happened to him today; I've had similar moments to him this year," said Kovalainen, who became the 100th driver to win a Formula One race.

Kovalainen — greeted by chants of "Heikki" from the large Finnish contingent in the stands — had narrowed Massa's lead to under six seconds before the Brazilian's engine blew up and ruined his chance of taking the lead in F1's standings for the second time this season.

"I just tried to put pressure on Massa hoping something would happen," Kovalainen said. "It worked out for me. I'm very, very glad to secure the victory."

Massa would have taken a three-point lead in the overall standings with a win, but instead slipped to eight behind Hamilton.

"It happened completely without warning, without giving the slightest indication," he said. "I am very frustrated at the moment because we had a great car and we had done everything perfectly until a few kilometers from the finish."

Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen recovered from qualifying sixth to finish third ahead of Renault's Fernando Alonso and give the Italian team some needed points.

"We had the speed in the race. (It's qualifying) where we must sort it out," said Raikkonen, the defending world champion. "We need to get something sorted. My car is fast and we need to just get in the front to use it."

Hamilton, who won from pole here last year, came in fifth for McLaren and stretched his lead over Raikkonen in the overall standings to five points. McLaren overtook BMW Sauber to sit second in the constructors' standings — 11 points behind Ferrari.

Kovalainen's first win in his 28 starts allowed Hamilton, coming off two dramatic victories at the British and German GPs, to stay atop F1's standings — and eight points ahead of Massa, whose confident start left the McLaren drivers stranded.

Kovalainen said this week that he wouldn't help Hamilton even with his British teammate leading the title challenge, and that showed in his limp start that allowed Massa to pass easily on the outside.

Massa and Hamilton raced side-by-side into the first turn — Massa even locking up his brakes at one point — before the Brazilian stuck to his position to pull ahead and nudge out Hamilton around the second corner.

The two were out front on their own. Massa and Hamilton pitted within a lap of each other with Massa enjoying a three-second edge after the first round of stops at the 113-degree track.

Massa's lead was around three seconds as he edged Hamilton over the final two sectors of the twisting circuit before Hamilton's puncture left the race Massa's to lose. Hamilton had most of the 2.722-mile circuit to navigate before a tire change and re-emerged 10th.

"I feel I could have had a go at passing him, but the damaged tire halted my progress," Hamilton said. "I don't yet know what happened. But at least I scored four points and maintained my lead in the championship, so this result is not too bad for me."

Kovalainen, who will partner with Hamilton again in 2009, moved to within 7.5 seconds with laps running down on the 70-lap race.

"When I saw the car on fire on the straight, the smoke, I thought it could be Felipe but couldn't believe it," the Finn said. "I was able to bring it home."

Glock secured his first podium after overtaking BMW Sauber's Robert Kubica at the start and then holding off Raikkonen, who had pulled within five seconds of the German driver.

"I just tried not to do any mistakes and stay in front of him," said the 26-year-old Glock, who rebounded from a violent crash at the German GP. "I didn't expect the podium. ... It's just the perfect weekend."

Renault's Nelson Piquet Jr. followed up a podium at Hockenheim with a sixth-place finish ahead of Toyota's Jarno Trulli.

Kubica, with at least 25,000 Polish fans cheering him on, crossed the finish line in eighth for his worst placing of the season to trail Hamilton by 13 points.

Sebastian Vettel retired after 22 laps when his engine overheated, while the Toro Rosso pit crew was forced to put out flash fires on teammate Sebastien Bourdais' car at both of the Frenchman's pit stops.

Bourdais finished 18th after pitting a third time to wipe off excess foam on his visor from the fire extinguisher.

The teams and drivers have three weeks before the next race on Aug. 24 — the inaugural Valencia GP.